


I Will not Tell the Thoughts of Hell

by llmarmalade



Series: Of Dying Dreams and New Beginnings [3]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llmarmalade/pseuds/llmarmalade
Summary: Thresh Anderson won the 74th Games and helped spearhead a revolution. But life in District 11 remained hard as he struggled to hold it together after everything he had lost. But urging from his former mentor Seeder, a old friend and a long overdue meeting with Rue's family might remind him of all the work left to do.





	I Will not Tell the Thoughts of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot from the Of Dying Dreams and New Beginnings Universe. It isn't really essential to read the other stories to understand this one since it is pretty independent.

“You can’t just drink the day away.” Seeder’s voice rang in his ears like the annoying Aunt she had become. Thresh looked up as she climbed the steps of his home, not the one he had moved into after his victory in the 74th games, and settled herself in the chair. She pulled out her knitting and her fingers moved rapidly turning the plain gray wool into a pair of socks for some lucky child. 

“What else would I do?” he questioned. Seeder had always been the kind and responsible one out of the trio of Victors that District 11 had produced in his lifetime.

“ You could start by stopping drinking. You’ll end up like Chaff or Haymitch. Then you could help rebuild the school. They need workers.” Seeder’s voice was calm and quiet but there was no mistaking the authority in it. It was easy to see the sixty something woman with her knitting and misjudge her. But she hadn't won the Hunger Games by mistake. 

“Not with my leg.” He replied. His time in the Arena had left him with an artificial leg after the Mutts attacked him in the final showdown. 

“ You’re leg is perfectly fine for staying on the ground and lifting things. I know you want to hide out here but the truth is District 11 needs you. They don’t listen to me, I’m an old lady, but they’ll listen to you. You gave them hope that Revolution would free them.”

“A lot of good that did. It won’t bring my family back.” Thresh felt the pain well up in his chest. His family had been killed when the Capitol razed District 11. Chaff had died not long after the war started when an incendiary bomber had struck the house he had been staying in along with most of District 11’s most important revolutionaries. Seeder had escaped by staying with her sister and her family in a run down house where the Capitol didn’t have surveillance. Thresh ironically had been on the front lines of the fighting. He still had managed to escape without a scratch.

"No, but your family was done the minute you were declared Victor. Step out of line, and everyone steps out of line once, and someone dies. That's what happened to all of us."

“What do you want me to do?” he asked reluctantly. He knew Seeder was right. He had been part of the Revolution practically from the moment he was declared a Victor. He was the unwanted Victor.

The Capitol had pinned their hopes on Cato or one of the other Careers. District 11 almost never won the Hunger Games and not because they had tributes that were incapable of being Victors. Unlike 12 most of 11’s children were already strong and sturdy by the time they were reaped. They were used to surviving in the elements and knew many of the plants found in the Arena. They were used to hard work and clever. But they rarely got sponsors. Thresh was convinced it was because of their appearance, the color of their skin, but it was never directly stated. The Capitol prided itself on being a beacon of equality. Like most things in the Capitol, it was the inverse of the truth.

He had defied the Capitol by behaving differently. From the moment that Ceasar Flickerman interviewed him and he gave monosyllabic answers refusing to play the game Thresh had been deemed rebellious. He had hidden in the field instead of tracking down weaker tributes. He had refused to join the Careers when they had approached him. He had avenged the life of his fellow District 11 tribute Rue by killing Clove who had bragged about helping kill her. He had killed the District 5 girl Clove had captured when Clove had given her a mortal blow that would have left her bleeding out for hours. He had killed Cato in the dramatic finish by pushing him off the Cornucopia. He had returned to his interview with Ceasar and continued to barely speak. Ceasar had been barely able to disguise his irritation and annoyance. If Thresh had been shy or small his quietness might have been attributed to nerves. But Thresh was being pointedly rebellious and the Capitol wouldn’t stand for it.

It ended up being all for nothing. Snow approached him with the “offer” on his body on the Victory Tour. He had accepted without flinching. He had a family to protect. He had seen what had happened to Johanna Mason when she had refused a Capitol offer. He had made his mark on the Capitol for being stern and silent and many of his “admirers” wanted this from him. The only good thing that came from the whole thing was that he wasn’t as popular as Finnick O’dair. 

For years he had just survived. Helping tributes prepare for games they were sure to lose. Living with the demands of the Capitol and their lust for blood and violence. Helping the Rebellion every way he could. Trying to avoid going down the same path as Chaff and drinking. He saw his family dressed in Capitol clothes and living in a Capitol house. He had won the right to give them these luxuries through blood. 

And then Snow had died unexpectedly. The country was plunged into chaos as the Capitol politicians fought for control and factions of various parties the rest of the country hadn’t even known about emerged. President after President was forced to resign or was killed. The Rebellion seized the opportunity the destabilization brought. Thresh had been right along urging District 11 to rise up and end the Capitol’s hold.

“I want you to be the boy who wouldn’t play their games. The boy who won without losing himself. I want to see the boy who called on his people to fight. I haven’t seen that boy in a long time and I miss him.” Seeder’s voice broke through his thoughts. 

“I’m not that person anymore.” He replied. He was only 28 but he felt like 90.   
"Sure you are. Underneath it all, you are the same person. All of us got broken and bent but I'm not letting them change me."

“What else?” he questioned. There was some other reason Seeder had shown up. It wasn’t like her to talk theoretic morals at someone.

“I hired Cherry Hinkler to clean your house and cook. She needs a job and you need someone to keep you fed.”

Cherry was a young widow with three children. They had been friends a long time ago before he was reaped. Once upon a time, he had even contemplated marrying her. But she had married someone else after his victory made any relationship impossible. He hadn't seen her much except to hear that her husband had been killed.

“Fine,” he muttered hoping Seeder wasn’t trying a matchmaking scheme. It was just the sort of thing she might do.

“Well, that’s all straightened out. She’ll be helping me too. My arthritis makes it hard to clean the floors.” Seeder stood up and disappeared as abruptly as she had come. Most likely to annoy some other person. He loved her like another mother but she was stubborn and determined. 

Cherry appeared the next day with a basket on her arm. She was a slight woman who looked younger than she actually was. It was only her eyes that looked old. She had already faced loss and they looked cloudy with loss. She was an especially beautiful woman. Even after seeing all the beauty the Capitol had to offer he still found women like her the most attractive. She didn't wear heavy makeup or fancy clothes but she carried herself with grace and beauty. Her curly hair was covered in a scarf to keep it from her face and out of her cooking and the bright orange contrasted with her brown skin highlighting her fine feature. She looked a little gray with exhaustion probably from keeping her children fed, clothed and together. 

“Will you be needing anything else?” she asked. 

"No, thank you. Seeder probably warned you what a mess this was." He replied finding his voice softening slightly. 

“She sure did. But then again Miss. Seeder has high standards. It isn’t as bad as Chaff’s house used to be. It was a pig pen.” Cherry shook her head and headed for the door. 

"How're your children?" he asked her suddenly.

She smiled broadly her face transforming from her usual somber expression, "They are doing good. They're in school all year round. Ash, that's my oldest, he's the head of his class in reading. And Blossom is going to be in the choir. The baby's is over the croup thanks to that medicine we got."

Perhaps the war had been worth it. Cherry seemed to think so even if she lost her husband. He thought about the children working in the fields at their tender ages as he had done. He thought of one of those kids getting reaped and dying in the Games. He thought of the undisputed sway of the old Peacekeeping force and the rapes and murders that occurred on a daily basis. It still happened but it was less frequent. Commander Boggs had removed many of the most violent offenders. Many of the Peacekeepers were trained and then sent back to the Districts they came from.

“Thresh, I just want to say thank you. To all the people who did this. I know things aren’t perfect but I can go to sleep knowing my kids won’t get Reaped or never get a chance at life. I know somehow it was all worth it.” She blinked back tears and nodded her head nervously as if she was afraid he would be angry. 

“ Bring your kids along sometime. I’d like to meet them.” He answered. She nodded again and slipped out the door and went across the street to Seeder’s.

He knew now he couldn’t drink himself to death. He had people depending on him. A sudden thought occurred to him. He grabbed a basket and went to the refrigerator. He pulled out food and began stuffing the basket. Then he set off down the street towards the street where Rue’s family lived. Her father had been killed by Peacekeepers but her mother and siblings still lived in the standard dilapidated little house of District 11. He had sent over food to them since he won the games but always through a little boy who delivered the items for a few coins. Now was the time to face them. 

He tapped on the door. Rue’s mother opened it and her face brightened. She looked older than her age from the hot sun and hard work she had been forced to do all her life. But her smile lit her face up. 

“Come in, Thresh. I’ve been waiting to see you a long time.” Suddenly he knew he was home. It wasn’t in the cold sterile house in Victor’s village but in this tiny little house that he felt the ghost of the tiny girl’s presence. He could fairly hear the walls echo her “If they can’t catch me they can’t kill me.” They had killed her. But so help him they would never touch her family.

**Author's Note:**

> I really struggled writing Thresh since we had so little of him in canon. But I always thought he would have been a very good choice for the Revolution. He always struck me as the most openly rebellious tribute outside of Katniss and Peeta.   
> 1\. I took the name Thresh Anderson from The Katniss Chronicles audio drama.  
> 2\. Cherry is a character I included since I wanted some ordinary District 11 people to round out the story. The name is a little weird but everyone in Panem seems to have weird flower and plant names.   
> 3\. For reference I movie cast her as looking a bit like Lupita Nyong'o.   
> 4\. I really wanted to include Rue's family in the story. I thought that Thresh would be so guilty over living that he would not want to directly speak to them. But after the war he felt more comfortable facing them.  
> 5\. Seeder is a great character who also got few lines in the book. But Katniss obviously liked her. Here she's a little like Greasy Sae. She makes sure to take care of her son. She was largely forgotten during the Revolution much like Mags because of her age.


End file.
